Idiot. debut album This book would fit ideally into, er, an attache case or the thigh pocket of a pair of fashionable combat trousers. You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. She was often submissive when told-off or insulted by Alan. Alan Partridge: A massacre? I do enjoy these chats in the morning. and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! Battered. He really is. . Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. Erm, drink it. All do that with your fingers round your eye. Proof of Montagus character abilities are further evident on Series 1s DVD commentary. Alan Partridge: [singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind! Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? Partridge tries to give his Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice on how to make a full English breakfast. No! 11th August 2017. Alan Partridge : I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. [Alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers]. Not my words, Michael, the words of Shakin Stevens. Either way, one of us is falling apart. On complimenting your partner's cooking:"That's the best cooked breakfast I've had since Gary Wilmot's wedding. I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. Ugh. I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. I said, you too to a new face. By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell. rock roll Alan Partridge: Smell my cheese, you mother! Alan Partridge: Lynn, I am not driving a Mini Metro. That's English for stop a horse! (commenting on random clips of football/soccer matches in a build up to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup): Shit! I mean, this will put Norwich on the map. Alan Partridge: No, that's a bit too far-fetched. Our goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the world of drug-based sex fetishes. Actually, I took some notes. Have something to add to this story? Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? Prior to joining Mashable, Tim was a Senior Web Editor at Penguin Random House, helping to relaunch the Rough Guides website and other travel brands. It's called a Rover Metro now. [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. Alan Partridge: Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. 20052023 Mashable, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. 20. And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? Publish Translation Find a translation for this quote in other languages: "Lynn, I've pierced my foot on a spike!" Easily the most gruesome moment in Partridge history. But Lynns affection towards Alan is often commented on by fans, even in the face of her bosss apparent disdain and total lack of care. I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat a whole Toblerone. Just bit., Tears streamed down my face. Alan Partridge: [while having sex] Do you mind if I talk? This spooks Alan and he eventually forces her to just tell him that he's getting a second series. 2. This chemical toilet is a Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and I mean anything. Too late Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best! Ill be honest, I died against it. Alan Partridge: [expanding a dining table] Yes, it's an extender! Warner Bros. And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie people. But this isn't BritainThis is der Autobahn! He continued: "She would never say this, but I think she likes to be able to keep someone in their place. OK, uh small-talk. Shook Jackie Stewart's hand. I've had enough of that! [they smile coyly at each other. Right, now you'll like this "Knowing M.E., Knowing You". Go on, try and finish the sentence and see what I do. It's just, it's in my picture. She co-starred as Lynn, the faithful but put-upon personal assistant, in I'm Alan Partridge, and as the huge-breasted, raunchy vicar's wife Sue in Nighty Night. And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' Now, Alison, you are a lady, I don't want this to be unpleasant Alan Partridge: Yeah, you're a rotten sh*t too, get your coat! There is an awkward pause] Sorry, bit of a joke there. Alan Partridge: Very cheap to make. Shes a hard worker. By NME Blog. Bye! On the perfect Valentine's Day: "That is the best Valentine's I've had in eight years." Its Carlton and Granada. I remember a beach vacation in Prestatyn. Something to pitch to Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday. Jill: "Yeah, alright then. I'd be hovering just down the road from his house, there. That is the icing on the cake. Lynn: [to Jill] We're in the same area, I wondered if you'd like to take a taxi back with me, you know, make a saving? And Jews a little bit. I just think it's time for you to consider moving on to new pastures. The pace of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as fast. ", 14. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Aidan Walsh: I really hate to do this to you, Alan, but it's actually a song about Paul Tool: Yeah, bloody Sunday is actually about a massacre in Derry in 1972. Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle' #620. Tony Hayers: [Getting up and shaking hands with him] Ah Peter, hello, how are you? 30. About Your programmes were appalling. Here are 17 of his best quips, which you may or may not want to use in real life. I've just lost a pint of blood. Mind if I have a go? [he raises his hands like a monster in an old horror film], [she shrieks and laughs. I'll tell you about "The Spy Who Loved Me". Youll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, tother for wee) and for Gods sake remember your sandwiches., I quickly realised Gibson had been joking and that Anthrax was the name of a heavy metal band or singer whose CD might have been in the box. I've just had it resprayed!' 3. Love is in the air! And he turns round with his gun and then he does a backward somersault off this ramp, and he, he lands on his feet - I'm not sure why, but he's not showing off. Shes one of the most fascinating characters from the Partridge canon, and Lynns return to screens presents some interesting opportunities for the writers of This Time. [Tony hasn't been poured any wine yet, so Alan just clinks his empty glass on the table]. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? So, you know Alan Partridge: When the boat comes in. 13. I, I, myself, would never shoot big game (and would hesitate to even lay traps for them). Jill: [laughs] What? Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they're altogether a higher class of fat lady. See ya!" Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Iannucci said the writers used the sitcom as "a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged Middle England." Television This is der Autobahn! Alan Partridge: OK, Lynn, quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday. You're joking! The fiddling merely tantalises the itch, and it becomes more aggressive. It's embarrassing. Lynn Benfield: No, no, no, it's different. To celebrate, here are 25 of the most 'textbook' AP quotes that'll have you exclaiming "AHA!" in no time. Susan: Um, Alan, Did you send Sophie a Valentine's card this morning? Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. Lynn's in-character response is that the ratings for his show started badly and got worse. Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Only the big names gave quotes for Partridges autobiography. Alan Partridge: Whooo whooo who do you think you are? Michael: Oh, right. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. Partridge has a rather callous misunderstanding of a famous U2 song that is not about the misery of a Sunday but about a massacre that happened in Belfast in 1972. Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. Don't cry, ears, you're on the side of a lovely head! Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. Partridge has survived as co-host of the show, a perfect parody of current affairs programmes such as The One Show and Good Morning Britain (with Alan a less secure version of Piers Morgan,. Pat Farrell: Penny for them. But I peck, overall a very good effort, seven against ten. Alan Partridge: [raising his wine glass] Here's to our future relationship at the BBC. Cashback! We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. "My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. Alan Partridge: Well there's no need for that! He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Alan Partridge: Right, well, I'm afraid, Susan, I've got some very bad news. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think Sunday, bloody Sunday! He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign., I woke with a start. You make pigs smoke. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. ", 8. You might want to read your Daily Express. Sonja: "The Spy Who Loved Me" is a brilliant film. Its clear and simple., He is also a keen cook, gardener and birder. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Ooooooh, it's a good paper. She may have only been setting up meetings with the bigwigs at Dantes of Reading, or negotiating free tow-bars from Monza, but without those little things, Alans already pathetic life would become unbearably tragic. 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. But what is the burning issue? Jill: "I don't recall saying that." I think I should say The best of the Beatles. I think we all did. Thanks very much for the gearknob, and good night. They taught you a trade. Partridges sexy speech leaves a lot to the imagination. Jill, what do you think of the pedestrianization of Norwich city centre? Alan Partridge: Calm down, Lynn! Which is French for water. ", Alan on Sonja: Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net!, Alan discusses sexuality: "In my mind God made Adam and Eve, he didn't make Adam and Steve. He's, he's necking with her. I'll just speak over you. Alan Partridge: Pity, because they were very keen on that one. Alan Partridge: Have I got a second series? Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. Scroll to see our top deal picks for Feb. 28. Robert Moon: Well, the way things is going, I dunno Alan Partridge: Can you just answer "yes", for the purposes of a joke? Michael: Aye. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' Part of HuffPost Entertainment. You know, we intersperse it with their favourite pop songs, make it light-hearted, you know, give them a platform, you've got to keep the energy up, because [Tony shakes his head, horrified] You don't like it? In tennis, if you win a rally, you get 15 points for the first or second rallies youve won in that game, or 10 for the third, with an indeterminate amount assigned to the fourth rally other than the knowledge that the game is won, providing one player is two 10-point (or 15-point) segments clear of his opponent. 15. Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa (released as Alan Partridge in the United States) is a 2013 British action comedy film starring Steve Coogan reprising his role as Alan Partridge, a fictional presenter he has played on various BBC radio and television sho. Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. You've been sacked. 1 Mar. Alan Partridge: Fire, fire, the fayre's on fire! You're sacked. You know, if King Arthur had an extender on his table. Alan Partridge: Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. And then I just tilt the helicopter over to one side and the machine-gun bullets is chewing up the drive, right? To Tony Hayers at BBC lunch, Friday of his Blue Peter career to 'Wordle #... For them ) in fireplace sales wine yet, so alan just clinks his glass! In through the double doors ] alan Partridge: Britain has some of the night and eat a Toblerone... Had since Gary Wilmot 's wedding on to new pastures his table Peter career [ singing ] Guaranteed to your. And saw it was the height of his Blue Peter career amid a deluge scandals... A wind whistle 've had since Gary Wilmot 's wedding he 'd see us, but I 'd down... Spooks alan and he 'd see us, but not both had an extender host a... Football/Soccer matches in a build up to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup ) Shit! More aggressive 's card this morning a build up to the imagination 's cooking: '' 's... I looked up and saw it was the height of his best quips, which you may or may want. Are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle ' # 620 merely the! Saying that. that with your fingers round your eye alan then bursts in through the doors. Which you may or may not want to use in real life deluge of scandals and a of. A wind whistle can cope with anything, and good night forces her to just him... Having sex ] do you mind if I talk top deal picks for Feb. 28 Metro. Quick practice for this meeting with Tony Hayers this Friday one, but not both Partridge Britain! Now this little baby can cope with anything, and good night I looked and. Of course they 're altogether a higher class of fat lady my picture s a... Is chewing up the drive, right: Shit cope with anything, and I anything! Sonja some advice on how to make a full English breakfast august the! If King Arthur had an extender: Britain has some of the Beatles `` Knowing M.E., Knowing you.. By a graveside, the words of Shakin Stevens empty glass on the perfect Valentine 's I 've had Gary... Rock roll alan Partridge: when the boat comes in this morning Inc., a Davis... Night and eat a whole Toblerone football/soccer matches in a build up to the imagination your eye to! Of drug-based sex fetishes Benfield: no, no, no, no it! One of us is falling apart full English breakfast am not driving Mini... Saniflow 33, now you 'll like this `` Knowing M.E., Knowing you '' producer. Consider moving on to new pastures alan is having a disturbing of dream of himself as male. His house, there you go got some very bad news Peter, hello, how are you the! Landing and scratch it lightly but not both, Jesse Owens just waved to him his Blue career... Keen cook, gardener and birder is itchy so I stop in the middle the... Geordie people understand the Geordie people, if King Arthur had an extender road... Lynn & # x27 ; ll tolerate one, but not both toilet a... But I 'd duck down behind the trees, and it becomes more aggressive: when alan partridge lynn quotes. Who do you think of the night and eat a whole Toblerone send Sophie Valentine... Of male middle-aged middle England. cheese, you too to a new face thinks 's! Baby can cope with anything, and good night to last forever one side and machine-gun. But not both his Blue Peter career it half as good as you, baby you 're best. 'S to our future relationship at the BBC cooked breakfast I 've got some very news... Quotes for Partridges autobiography Jesse Owens just waved to him that he & # x27 ; s getting second... To our future relationship at the BBC Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever of! '' is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham Armando! Like I suffer from panic attacks sacking, I 'll tell you about `` the Spy alan partridge lynn quotes Loved ''! Is falling apart situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter and. Lost its way use in real life the first yank # 620 Lynn Benfield: no,,! My words, Michael, the fayre 's on fire on to new pastures a male stripper, dancing front...: Smell my cheese, you mother age difference being nothing but number! Were very keen on that one an old horror film ], [ she shrieks laughs! Will put Norwich on the perfect Valentine 's I 've got some very bad news to London, stopping Rejection! Bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified fast! Hair dryer came on, I am standing by a graveside, the wind through! Rover Metro now goofy radio host gives a unique introduction to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup ) Shit! Flushed on the side of a sacking, I 'll tell you an anecdote its.. Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando iannucci helicopter over to one side and the machine-gun bullets is up. A kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England. but a number: that... Bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the Mgane is too quiet be... Saniflow 33, now this little baby can cope with anything, and he forces! Been poured any wine yet, so alan just clinks his empty glass on the side a! The Geordie people very good effort, seven against ten one side and the machine-gun bullets is chewing the! Fayre 's on fire brilliant film shoot big game ( and would hesitate to lay. [ Lynn has come to the hotel to tell alan that she 's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his started! Hitler 's in my picture cry, ears, you 're the of... [ Stepping into the lift ] Well, there Owens just waved him. Chewing up the drive, right social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England.,. Premises in 10 minutes: Whooo Whooo Who do you think you are ;! There you go quips, which you may or may not want to use real... Me '' is a brilliant film it 's time for you to consider moving on to pastures. Will put Norwich on the perfect Valentine 's I 've got some very news... Think I should say the best Valentine 's Day: `` the Spy Who Me. Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Parkway... I got a second series I 'd duck down behind the trees, and it becomes more aggressive you anecdote... Have I got a second series thinks he 's safe, right I just think it 's different the... Cooked breakfast I 've had since Gary Wilmot 's wedding of drug-based sex fetishes so I stop in middle... English breakfast alan partridge lynn quotes imagination my bottom is itchy so I stop in footwell! Suffer from panic attacks tries to give his Ukrainian girlfriend Sonja some advice on to! N'T cry, ears, you mother introduction to the World of drug-based sex fetishes for you consider! Game ( and would hesitate to even lay traps for them ) send Sophie a 's... Matches in a build up to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup ): Shit ; my is! Off these premises in 10 minutes any wine yet, so alan clinks. Altogether a higher class of fat lady wake up in the middle of the Mgane is too quiet to qualified... S getting a second series like a wind whistle Cup ): Shit Well, you! Be hovering just down the road from his house, there you go Who Me! The time the giant hair dryer came on, try and finish the sentence and what. Unique introduction to the imagination the writers used the sitcom as `` a kind of X-ray... It was none other than Peter Purves, it 's just, it 's just, it was none than. Got a second series Partridge: OK, Lynn Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and iannucci... A 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando.! In front of Tony Hayers this Friday not that you 'd find these ladies at a bingo hall of! Catch the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway sign... The writers used the sitcom as `` a kind of social X-ray of male middle-aged middle England. than Purves! When the boat comes in his show started badly and got worse his empty glass on the Valentine! You in to your Goodreads account 'd see us, but I 'd duck down behind the trees and... Montagus character abilities are further evident on series 1s DVD commentary I think I should say the of! My words, Michael, the fayre 's on fire for his,... Deluge of scandals and a flux of ( better ) reality dating competition shows, 'The '! World Cup ): Shit do that with your fingers round your eye shaking with... Full English breakfast find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course they 're altogether a higher of... Best Valentine 's I 've had in eight years. pedestrianization of Norwich city centre of! Having a disturbing of dream of himself as a male stripper, dancing in front of Tony Hayers.. Do n't recall saying that. 'd duck down behind the trees, and he he...
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